Sunday 01/25/26 – Adams Village Baptist Church
Sermon Title: “Caring
for Friends and Family”
Mark 10:44-45, 1 Peter 4:8
In
my time in ministry, I have had people apologize to me for missing church on
Sunday, because they were, wait for it, visiting family! I have also had people
literally apologize to me for missing church on Sunday, because they were, wait
for it, visiting one of their parents or children in the hospital!
Do
not get me wrong, going to church to worship and to be with our church family
on Sunday, and being together throughout the week is important, but I promise
you I do not have a gold star chart for every Sunday you are in or not in attendance
here. I think at one of the churches my family attended when I was a kid, I got
a sticker or a gold star for everyone Sunday I went to Sunday School, however.
Additionally, if we had perfect attendance or really good attendance, we got rewards
or special recognition.
Over
the years as well, when I have called church folks on the phone, and sometimes
before I could even speak, I would hear something like, “Pastor Paul I am so
sorry that I haven’t been in church in two weeks, but I will be there this
Sunday I promise!” Then in response, I usually have just said something like,
“Well I was calling, because I was worried you were sick, or something else was
wrong.” I would then get a variety of answers, but sometimes it was to visit
family, a family member was sick, etc.
I
love to come to church and worship with you all every Sunday, and I love to see
you all throughout the week, but sometimes in my own life as a lay person, and
then a pastor, I have put church above my family. I have and continue to tell
people that in the order of importance, we should place God at number one, our
family at number 2, and then church at number 3. I have had a couple of issues
however, with people putting the Buffalo Bills at 3, and the church at 4. So,
do not do that!
(Photo
of God, Family, Work)
The
point is this, God should always come first, and family should always come
before church does. Always! This does not mean that we should not try to come
to church most Sundays and throughout the week, but it does mean that family
comes before church. For example, if God forbid you get a message that a family
member is in the hospital in Watertown in critical condition, during a service,
go to the family member. Why? We will be here because it is God, family, and
then church. Amen.
The
question I have for us all to consider this morning then is this, how many of
us have gotten this order of God, family, and church out of whack before? As a
pastor, there have been times where I put the church before my family, and this
is something that I work hard to not do. For example, my stepfather Michael who
has cancer, if he, God forbid had some sort of medical emergency, I would be on
the first plane of Wisconsin. I would do the same for my mother, my biological
father, and any family member. This is not because I do not love you all, but
because I very much do. Yet, it is God, family, and then church. Anyone here,
ever get this order out of order?
For
me this is something that I have and to continue to do better at. Sometime this
summer for example, Melissa and I are going to go to Chicago to see my biological
father and stepmother and hopefully my younger sister and her family. I have
not seen them since 2023, and Melissa and I are going to go, because family
first. If I am being honest too, I would say there have also been times that I
have put the church even before God. Not often, but in the past, I have at
times been focused too much on the institution of the church at moments, and
not as much on the Lord of this whole institution. It can be easy to fall into
a cycle of what I call “Churchianity,” forgetting that we are to first go to
Jesus, then take care of our family, and finally go to be with our family in
Christ, here at the Adams Village Baptist. Once again, is it just me that has
made these mistakes before?
I
remember a much older and wiser seminary professor telling our group of students
12-13 years ago about ministry. This is what he said, “forty-years ago, I said
yes to God and entered the ministry, and my family has paid the price ever
since.” I will never forget this pastor/professor telling us this, as he was
emphasizing, God, family, and friends, and then work or church, in my case.
The
best example though of putting family before work that I can think of, comes from
the Tom Hanks movie from 1994 called “Forest Gump”. Has anyone here seen the
movie “Forrest Gump”? In this movie, Forest Gump finds out his mother is very sick,
and this is how he responds:
(Forest
Gump – Movie Clip)
How many of us here would respond that
quickly and like this if a member of our family or someone we loved was gravely
ill? I would have taken the boat to the shore and not swam to the shore like
Forest Gump did, as it was probably faster to do that way! The commitment that
this character played by Tom Hanks had to his mother was amazing. Do we put
family and friends first like that? Why or why not?
In
looking at our gospel of Mark 10:44-5 reading for this morning, we are reminded
once again, as the gospel says:
44 and whoever wishes to be first among you must be slave of all. 45 For the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many.’ (Mk. 10:44-45, NRSV).
Our first love is Jesus, our first service
and love is to our family and friends, then work, even if we sometimes get
these out of order. Jesus came to not to be served, but to serve, and to die
for us all. The order of the importance of things in our lives can be a
challenge sometimes, but Jesus came to serve. Jesus did also sometimes take time
away to rest, as the twelve disciples and the crowds could tire him out.
The
second scripture that we read this morning is 1 Peter 4:8 that says, once
again:
8 Above all, maintain constant love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins (1 Pet. 4:8, NRSV).
We
are told to love, value, and spend time with each other. What then are the real
reasons why we get our order of God, family, and friends, and work out of order
sometimes?
I
have mentioned one or more sermons, and in conversations around visits to
nursing homes and places like this in our country. I re-read the statistics,
and they have not improved. This is what I found researching more resent
statistics:
A significant portion of nursing home residents, around 60% in the U.S., receive no regular visitors, highlighting widespread social isolation, though some studies show closer to half getting weekly visits, influenced heavily by family involvement and travel distance. Many residents experience loneliness, with some never getting outside visitors, while others are limited by restrictive facility hours and policies (Google.com).
Do
you think that we have a society that is good for caring for family and
friends, or have we gotten worse? Sometimes we, sometimes I, just get so busy,
that if I am not careful, I can put work over everything. Someone might say
though, but the church is God, the church is Jesus, the church is the Holy
Spirit. To which I agree, but I am not God. This balance, of first going to
God, giving our best and “Caring for Friends and Family,” and then work is a
hard balance.
As
we are told once again this morning in 1 Peter 4:8:
8 Above all, maintain constant love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins (1 Pet. 4:8, NRSV).
Loving
each other does not remove our sins, and we can turn to Jesus to be forgiven.
Love, however, can cover and make hurt, mistakes, and problems not seem as bad.
When we are driven by the love of Jesus, then it is much easier to put our
priorities in order.
Further,
while we have heard the term “pull yourself up by your own bootstraps,” have
any of us ever really gotten to where we are today without family and friends?
I know I have not. In fact, when I was ordained in 2018, we had a bishop from
the African Methodist Episcopal Church Zion who preached at the ordination
sermon. This bishop gave us advice about being ordained pastors, about being
servants, etc. He then told us parable or story that I will never forget.
The
parable to story that he told us was “the turtle on the fence post.” This is
roughly what this African Methodist Episcopal Zion bishop said to us:
(Picture
of the Turtle on the Fence Post)
“If you see a turtle sitting on a fence post you know it did not get there by itself.” A turtle cannot climb the post, it cannot fly to the top of the post, a turtle cannot tightrope walk the wire of the fence to get to the post. If a turtle is on a fence post somebody put it there (https://themasterswalk.com/army-of-the-lord-of-sabaoth/a-turtle-on-a-fence-post/).
May we never get God, family and friends, and work to out
of whack. If we are honest, aren’t many of us here today because of the love
and care of family and friends? This is why my sermon this morning is called
“Caring for Friends and Family” As we had had a cold and snowy week, who are
the people that we love, that love us, who would benefit from our care? A phone
call? A card? A visit? God, family and friends, and then work.
To bring this all home, and have sermon application points
making this a sermon that walks out of the door with us, here are some ideas to
consider about “Caring for Friends and Family”:
“Christians view both family and friends as vital, with family as a foundational unit and the church community ("brothers and sisters in Christ") providing a chosen family, while deep, Christ-centered friendships are crucial for mutual spiritual growth, support, accountability, and becoming more like Jesus, often seen as a training ground for eternal communion. The Bible emphasizes loving one another as Christ loved us, encouraging sacrifice and support within these relationships, whether biological or spiritual”
Importance of Family:
- Foundational Unit: The family is the initial place for learning love, forgiveness, and Christian living, with parents modeling faith.
- Biblical Model: The New Testament often uses "brothers and sisters" (adelphoi) to describe the church, emphasizing family-like commitment and care within the faith community.
Importance of Friend
- Spiritual Growth: Friends who share faith help each other grow in holiness and become more Christ-like (mutual sanctification).
- Accountability & Support: They offer encouragement, confront sin, bear burdens, and provide a safe space to discuss faith and life challenges, similar to Jesus' disciples.
- Shared Purpose: Ideal Christian friendships center on a common love for God, looking in the same direction toward truth and holiness.
- Foretaste of Eternity: Deep friendships serve as practice for the eternal communion (koinonia) with God and others.
Key Biblical Principles for Relationships
- Love Like Jesus: Love one another sacrificially, as Jesus laid down His life (John 15:12-13).
- Sharpen Each Other: Friends should challenge and build each other up, like "iron sharpens iron" (Proverbs 27:17).
- Comfort & Edify: Christians are called to comfort and build each other up (1 Thessalonians 5:11).
- Be Like Jesus: Invite others into your life and be authentic, reflecting Christ's love and hospitality (John 15:15) (https://www.google.com/search?q=Christians+view+of+friends+and+family+important).
Brothers and sisters, may we keep God first, family friends second, and work and everything else after that. Amen.
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